dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
