Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
