dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
