Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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