Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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