I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
