Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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