Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
