im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
