yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Its about making memories worth repressing
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
