wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
