He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
