before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
