then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
