Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
