): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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