I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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