matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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