im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
