Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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