He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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