Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize