my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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