But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
