I'm so fucking centered right now
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
