ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
