There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
