Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
jump out the window naked night went bad
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
