omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
