Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
