You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
