I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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