Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
