question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
