positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
