One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
