You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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