you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
