Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry mbaldwin944 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'

(301): View more from Maryland

Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..

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(925): View more from California

Should I have kids to fix a relationship??

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.

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(330): View more from Ohio

giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy

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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!

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(440): View more from Ohio

Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.

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