I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
