I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
