You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
