The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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