I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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