I hate your face
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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