Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
