First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
