is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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