some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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