butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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