im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
