He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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