he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
