fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize