Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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