perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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