Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
